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Phlegm Zombis

 

Corporeal Forces: 2              Strength: 5                             Agility: 3

Ethereal Forces: 2                 Intelligence: 2                       Precision: 6

Celestial Forces: 0                Will: 0                                    Perception: 0

 

Vessel: Corporeal/2, -2 Charisma

 

Skills: Climbing/1, Dodge/6, Fighting/4, Ranged Weapon/4 (Phlegm), Singing/1

 

Attunements: Phlegmatic Attack, Phlegmatic Curse

 

Discords: Need/3 (Phlegm), Ugly/3

 

Phlegmatic Attack: All Phlegm Zombis add their Corporeal Forces to their Strength when attempting to grapple with an opponent in close combat.  Also, the nature of their day-to-day existence gives them a handy ranged weapon: yes, again, phlegm.  Power is not applicable, Accuracy is -1, Range is about 15 yards and ammo is effectively infinite: a successful 'strike' will lower an opponent's Agility by 1 until he can shower it off.  Dodging will work, but only if the CD of the Dodge roll equals or exceeds the CD of the attack roll.

 

Phlegmatic Curse: those damaged by a Phlegm Zombi must roll against Strength +4 or be subject to the Dread Curse of the Phlegm.  This manifests as the sudden conversion of body fat into phlegm, which will then proceed to issue forth from the nose and mouth at high speed: this phlegm will be enough to satisfy the Zombi's daily Need.  The average American (for example) is overweight enough to be able to do this once without suffering ill effects: further 'feedings' will cause 2d6 Body Hits.  However, every level of Obese increases the number of 'safe feedings' by 10.

 

It probably wouldn't surprise you to know that these Undead were invented by Kobal ... no, it wouldn't, would it?  Anytime anybody encounters something that's just plain wrong, out comes the mental checklist.  Weird but not dangerous: must be Eli.  Dangerous and radiating promiscuously across the electromagnetic spectrum: that's one of Vapula's babies.  Weird, dangerous, not radiating energy and looks like a sick joke: why yes, that does sound like Kobal.  So, it's more accurate to say that it probably would distress you to hear that these Undead were invented by Kobal, as sort of a sardonic commentary about Kronos, Hatiphas and how both of them are completely lame about things.

 

Phlegm Zombis are created with a variant of the Create Zombi ritual: knowledge of the regular ritual gives a +1 to the CD.  Special ingredients are - well, lots and lots of phlegm (at least twenty pounds per zombi).  Rumors of a Song of Phlegm that is taught only to Hellsworn Sorcerers of Dark Humor - well, if it existed, somebody would have reported back on it, right?

 

Phlegm Zombis are usually found as guards or performance art: in the former, they've had it beaten into them to keep key areas free of intruders, while in the latter, half a dozen or more are just dropped off into an aesthetically pleasing venue and left to do their thing.  Either way, their usual tactic is to grab anything living, get it to start spurting out phlegm, then drag it back to the Zombi's central lair so that it can be permanently adhered to the walls.  They're just smart enough to go for the bulkiest targets first: unfortunately, they have no real conception of the abilities of Symphonically Aware entities, and outraged celestials rarely give them the opportunity to learn better.  Phlegm Zombis can be fairly dangerous to regular humans - and the incredible grossness of their central lair would nauseate anybody.

 

And, yes, they do chant "Phhlleggggmmm... Phhhlllleggggmmmm..." as they advance.  This is Kobal that we're talking about, remember?

 

 

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